The following relationship "advice" is purely satirical and meant for entertainment purposes only — please do not cite us in divorce court.

Each week, we'll be rounding up the internet's most interesting relationship questions and chiming right in. From nightmare first dates to exploring new fetishes, we're leaving no corner of the internet unexplored.

I Need Help Uninviting A Guy Who RSVP'd To My Wedding

I know this sounds terrible but I am in an uncomfortable position that i'm seeking advice on.

Long story short, it has come to my attention that my maid of honor is extremely uncomfortable with a guest whom i've invited because he is a family friend. His mom is extremely close to mine. My MOH and this guest has apparently had a history that has left MOH with a lot of unaddressed trauma, and after hearing the details I am completely on her side with this.

When it came to light that this guest was attending, she expressed how this makes her feel and that its likely that her plus one will not attend, knowing this person is here. My MOH is my best friend that I would do anything for, and I would very much rather her and her plus one be able to enjoy themselves over this guest (who I barely ever see or speak to).

The issue is that I feel if I uninvite him, it will cause a lot of issues on my end with my family, his mother (who is attending the wedding), and other guests as they will just see it as me uninviting him for no reason. I was thinking of calling him and essentially telling him that a few people at the wedding are uncomfortable with him attending and i'm just hoping he'll know what i'm referring to and understand, but at this point i'm just not sure.

Looking for advice on the best action to take here. Ultimately I just want everyone to have a good time and knowing the MOH will not be comfortable the whole time makes me feel very sad. I feel stressed to be in this position as I had no choice in the matter to invite this particular guest.

I really think Reddit u/Blagnet nailed it when they suggested calling him on the low to create an easy out for everyone, especially you. I get where some of the other commenters are coming from when they say you should just tell your mom. However, this history sounds very personal to your friend and involving your mother could lead to the entire wedding party talking about it — assuming for the worst, the fallout could be bitter and drama ensues. By just calling him yourself, telling him you know why your friend doesn't want him there and then giving him the chance to back out quietly, seems like the most peaceful option. Personally, I think telling your mother now might just blow up more for you than him. Read the rest of the thread here.

My Girlfriend Likes It Too Rough In Bed And It's Becoming A Deal-Breaker

I’ve been with my gf for about 6 months and it’s been really wonderful. She has strong kinks and thats fine. I’ve made my peace with it, sort of. It can be really enjoyable and fun and I try my best to be careful and considerate with her. The problem is that these kinks all involve hurting her physically. All are tied to physical violence against her in bed. I’m pretty sure this is perfectly normal but it makes me feel like shit. There’s obviously a risk of serious harm here but I feel bad about hurting the person I’m dedicating myself to romantically even at their request. The other day she asked me to slap her and do other things to her, and then she was crying. I stopped immediately and then she was begging me to keep it going, but I simply couldn’t. I can’t cope with this, not with “aftercare” or her affirmation that it’s all good. Again I’m pretty sure it’s fun and arousing to her but for me it just makes me feel like a predator, a woman beater. I’m not sure what to do except cut it off. I can’t make her change her choices.

Shout out to u/Saddle-Upx3 who put it together in two words : "Dude, communicate." It sounds like you really care for her, and that you've been putting your own needs aside too much. Again, if this is something you want to draw a hard line on, then that's within your rights and it ends there. But if this something you want to explore yourself, not just for your partner, then perhaps it's best if you both read up more on how to get better at BDSM. Read the rest of the thread here.

Am I The Bad Guy For Slowing Down Our Friendship After She Rejected Me?

I (21M) have been friends with Annie (21F) for 3 years now, since the start of college. We usually chill at one of our friend’s places every Saturday night with our friend group. After we’re done, I walk her to her dorm first before heading back to my dorm. This has been the default and I never really thought too much of it.

A month ago, I asked her out, but she just wanted to remain friends. It did not bother me too much, but I obviously wanted to cut back on our friendship a bit. We were still amicable and part of the same friend group and still joked around with each other.

However I’ve stopped walking her back to her dorm, and just walk back to my dorm. The first couple of weeks, she did walk back on her own to her dorm. However, last week, she asked if I could walk her back, because she was extremely scared walking alone at midnight especially when she was drunk. I told her to just get an Uber or ask someone else, because I was getting too tired to walk her home to her place, and then walk back to my place. The conversation was sort of awkward, and we left it at that.

I really sat with this one, because at first, I was kinda on your side. It's late and she gave you no warning beforehand. For those reasons, I can see where people are coming from when they say she may have expected too much from you. On that note though, the fact you wrote, "she was extremely scared," as if it were nothing like that just shows the level of apathy you have towards her now. Like damn, how do you not care at all if your "friend" of three years makes it home safely or not? This isn't giving yourself space, this is letting her out to fry and hoping she burns. Read the rest of the thread here.

Guy Bailed On Our Sunday Night Date, And Now I Feel Like Sh—t

So I went on a date with this guy, we met on a dating app, were having a good conversation and both of us were looking for the same thing in a relationship. We even had a phone call prior to our in person date and we talked quite a lot and get to know each other very well. Then the day of the date comes, I met him at a bakery, we ordered our food and sat and were just chatting. Everything going really well, like there was no awkwardness or something… but then 30 minutes into the date he says he’s getting a call from his boss, I was like sure pick it up and then he says I’m sorry but I have to leave now I’ve been called into work, I was so surprised tho cuz he works for the government and it was a Sunday, who calls in for work on a weekend on such short notice. But I was fine with it and he said he will call after work. It’s been a few months and there’s still no call (not like I was waiting for it). But I felt so humiliated and embarrassed. I mean was I so ugly that you couldn’t even go through the whole date? None of my pictures on the profile had any filter and a couple of them were full body pictures too, i didnt even lie about anything and was honest throughout. I felt so bad, I treated myself with a pizza and some shopping later that day. Yup rant over, thanks guys

I think you just need to set a time limit for next time. Before the date, lead with you've got a meeting that'll keep the date to about 40 minutes. If things go well, you can always just say the meeting was canceled and if they don't, say it was pushed up actually. Yes, these are all damn lies, but people suck at lying, so might as well prep for it. Begin with the end in mind, and make up an excuse that won't leave the other person spiraling. Rejection hurts for everybody, we owe it to each other to not make it so obvious, especially when we meant to leave with a soft goodbye and not a damning judgment call. Read the rest of the thread here.

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[Image credit: Rodolfo Clix]