CABIN PRESSURE
The Adult Man Who Yelled At A Baby, And More Of This Week's 'One Main Character'
Every day somebody says or does something that earns them the scorn of the internet. Here at Digg, as part of our mission to curate what the internet is talking about right now, we rounded up the main characters on Twitter from this past week and held them accountable for their actions.
Each day on twitter there is one main character. The goal is to never be it
— maple cocaine (@maplecocaine) January 3, 2019
This week’s characters include a two babies — one who made a mess and another who caused a grown man to meltdown — a bigoted writer and a flex that includes a very expensive lighter.
And here's a post-credits scene before the movie for you (AKA, a shout out to characters we simply couldn't cover):
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President Biden saying he's the "most pro-union president in American history," and getting fact checked by Twitter, saying he signed to block a railroad union strike in December 2022.
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Local man who values his time at $5,000 per hour.
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The proprietor whose business practices sound more like abusive conditions than a flex to be shared.
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The person who thought it was a good idea to stage a photo shoot at Auschwitz.
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A take that sent ripples though relationship twitter: "Falling in love after 3 months sounds genuinely insane to me".
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Some guy talking about "above average" attractiveness and trying to explain it to zoomers using a weird example.
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And a film reviewer who thinks Ari Aster's career is over after "Beau Is Afraid."
Tuesday
Madeleine Kearns
The character: Madeleine Kearns, National Review and staff writer
The plot: This article and premise might be a contender for One Main Character of the Year by the end of the year. Words like yikes and woof are not strong enough to portray the cringe, disgust and anguish one gets from reading the headline, let alone the entire article. The blatant transphobia and attack on trans individuals is getting worse everyday.
If blackface is racist, then "womanface" is sexist. | @madeleinekearns https://t.co/773ZFHBnRu
— National Review (@NRO) April 18, 2023
The repercussion: I personally have no words. Just the height of stupidity and cruelty and evilness and naivety and a lack of brain power everywhere, by everyone involved. To quote Mrs. White from the film "Clue," I will just say that I hated this tweet so much… it flamed, flames. Flames… on the side of my face… breathing… breathle… heating breath…
It Is Journalism’s Sacred Duty To Endanger The Lives Of As Many Trans People As Possible https://t.co/KVR9YC31Xl https://t.co/EAHg9FG82W
— The Onion (@TheOnion) April 18, 2023
My contribution to this nonsense: pic.twitter.com/Hzqh6fJVmH
— Parker Molloy (@ParkerMolloy) April 18, 2023
— 🎃Ghost Maggie 🎃 (@maggieserota) April 18, 2023
Thank you for demonstrating the assiduous research tnr has been known for since it’s glory days of defending Jim Crow.
— Dave Zirin (@EdgeofSports) April 18, 2023
Thank you for demonstrating the assiduous research tnr has been known for since it’s glory days of defending Jim Crow.
— Dave Zirin (@EdgeofSports) April 18, 2023
"If" blackface is racist?
— Cody Johnston (@drmistercody) April 18, 2023
— Amanda Brooke Perrin (@brookeperrin) April 18, 2023
— Zack “Buy My Book…Please” Hunt (@ZaackHunt) April 19, 2023
— CavsKermit (@JbkJbk1234) April 18, 2023
No, you're just racist and homophobic for comparing drag to blackface and using this issue to attack LGBTQ people.
— The Nerdskull, Woke Moralist (@the_nerd_skull) April 18, 2023
— Boner Fart (@fartsandboners) April 18, 2023
Jared Russo
Sunday
Anthony Bass
The character: Anthony Bass, Toronto Blue Jays pitcher, designated group picture taker
The plot: Baseball player Bass shared a picture of his kids and the mess they made in-flight after dropping a bunch of popcorn, and said that his wife was asked to "get on her hands and knees to pick up the popcorn mess left by my youngest daughter."
The flight attendant @united just made my 22 week pregnant wife traveling with a 5 year old and 2 year old get on her hands and knees to pick up the popcorn mess by my youngest daughter. Are you kidding me?!?! pic.twitter.com/vLYyLyJC54
— Anthony Bass (@AnthonyBass52) April 16, 2023
The repercussion: While one former crew member thought it was unlikely someone would say that to his wife, others were less sympathetic to the family's situation.
This is art… https://t.co/dbR0ijkcwP pic.twitter.com/WZmO4h9TuO
— EducatëdHillbilly™ (@RobProvince) April 18, 2023
I guess throwing trash runs in the family https://t.co/VlNDU56ap7 pic.twitter.com/2OIiJMmai6
— Eric (@Eric_M888) April 17, 2023
RIDICULOUS! Was the 5 year old too busy!? https://t.co/vTbXJZxKDg
— Monét (@monetxchange) April 17, 2023
these replies are an amazing throwback to 2013 twitter when like ten thousand people would get furious over some boring bullshit that happened on an airplane https://t.co/NRZcca8cJ9
— Jon Bois (@jon_bois) April 17, 2023
Anthony Bass with his 7.00 ERA coming in to clean up a mess for the Blue Jays.pic.twitter.com/SroHyuSshE https://t.co/EjtT5IohAy
— Thomas Carrieri (@Thomas_Carrieri) April 18, 2023
Adwait Patil
Monday
Gavin Mayo
The character: Gavin Mayo, grindset guy, reckless spender of cash
The plot: If you’ve spent any time on Twitter in recent months, you’ve probably noticed that new breed of guy that is obsessed with making money, thinks he's cracked the code to becoming massively wealthy and, usually, wants you to pay him to teach you how. One of those guys is Gavin Mayo, who recently tweeted that he’d spent $7,000 on a fancy lighter.
I spent $7000 on a lighter today. We are not the same pic.twitter.com/9JpPNXSefC
— Gavin Mayo (@EarnMayo) April 17, 2023
Listen, I get why these people do these things: they want to show people that they can afford expensive stuff. That doesn’t stop it from being completely stupid, though. The purchases people flex on Twitter are, like, cars or houses. Not lighters. Who’s going to be even remotely envious of that?
The repercussion:
thank fucking god we not the same https://t.co/ofBC0I3Qk9
— iyosias (@whitest_injera) April 19, 2023
yeah we are not the same you are so fucking stupid and I am not https://t.co/iN3EEFvomr
— poisson bidon (@miamcontrebasse) April 19, 2023
Can you explain why you would spend $7,000 on a lighter? I actually cannot wrap my head around this.
— Layah Heilpern (@LayahHeilpern) April 17, 2023
spend $2 on a nail clipper
— 64 (@6Foot4Honda) April 18, 2023
I made these tacos from scratch for like $2 https://t.co/R5DpEEVu61 pic.twitter.com/cuZL0kaThs
— Hurt CoPain (@SaeedDiCaprio) April 19, 2023
“I’m going to flaunt my superfluous wealth and ability to afford ostentatious crap so that people on the internet will think I’m cool” 🤡
— Kommander Karl (@kommanderkarl) April 18, 2023
Yeah, you’re right. We aren’t the same. And I’m very grateful for that.
i sleep in a big bed with my wife https://t.co/wLyBXXiJRh
— Scott Chegg (@buckfastbadlad) April 19, 2023
i got this rei ayanami lighting for $6 and I think its cooler https://t.co/jEhVgToh8X pic.twitter.com/GtbAb1oOTB
— haz👻🧸 (@girlsterrifyme) April 19, 2023
u got scammed so hard man https://t.co/Z6pePvYNmC pic.twitter.com/MxHwocgZZU
— renzy (@tize4PF) April 19, 2023
You coulda lit $7k on fire and had the same experience
— Akilah Hughes (@AkilahObviously) April 18, 2023
We are not the same, because you are a massively insecure thundercunt.
— Dom Joly (@domjoly) April 18, 2023
There’s one thing you can’t buy - self awareness.
— Moose Allain Ꙭ (@MooseAllain) April 18, 2023
Darcy Jimenenz
Tuesday
The 'Shut that baby up' Southwest Passenger
The character: A guy who thinks parents make babies cry on planes for fun
The plot: During a turbulent Southwest flight, a baby was crying in the cabin, like a baby presumably would do. A passenger was filming on his phone, and another co-passenger burst out in an expletive-filled rant about how the baby should "shut up."
Flight attendant: “You’re yelling”
— Akhil Vohra (@asv141) April 18, 2023
Passenger: “So is the baby!”
Flight attendant: “Well you’re a man”
Passenger: “Did that mf pay extra to yell?”
Lmfaooooopic.twitter.com/qDSFV89ay6
I'm yet to experience this kind of behavior on a flight, I don't really fly much so I'm out of luck, but from what I've seen this looks far too hectic. Politely conveying annoyance is toeing the line when it comes to showing your displeasure towards crying babies, going on a rant is quite, how do you say, unhinged.
The repercussion: Baby parents, fans and defenders all logged on to tell this man what a dunce he is. The next time you see him in your cabin, make sure to start crying yourself, or have a YouTube compilation ready to blast through the loudspeaker.
"You’re yelling"
— Shats (@iamshats) April 19, 2023
Passenger: “So is the baby!”
"Well you’re a man"
Passenger: “Did that mf pay extra to yell?” https://t.co/e0ndlw6OTm pic.twitter.com/gZFCbhzckF
Bro when I stopped laughing at this shit this was like the second or third thing that came to mind 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣 https://t.co/uxaoOOQ2l1 pic.twitter.com/jQKySx1vEd
— 🏧Harvard Blue🌐 (@Rev_DekeOMalley) April 18, 2023
Anyways best $300 I’ve ever spent. I hear ✨nothing✨ on planes. Babies are babies and they will cry so be prepared https://t.co/OEUajoU3Ar pic.twitter.com/v6i3zXOCoP
— baby girl ❤️🔥 (@zimbabweandoll) April 18, 2023
If you can't handle the sound of a crying baby or toddler, maybe air travel or being in public isn't for you. Personally, I'd be embarrassed by my inability to cope with something so basic that happens all the time. But I just believe that's part of being a functioning adult.
— Melissa Ryan (@MelissaRyan) April 18, 2023
We are all either this guy or this woman. pic.twitter.com/TNTmlQbeak
— Observations from Life 🎙 (@ObsFromLife) April 18, 2023
I'm torn, I've been places and a child is crying loud, non stop and the parents act like they can't do anything, give it a cookie, pat it on the back, rock it? On the other hand, I'm an adult, screaming like a child isn't the answer.
— Shawn Williams (@shawniedw2) April 18, 2023
Adwait Patil
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Read the previous edition of our One Main Character column, which included a person who thinks San Francisco should resort to public hangings for criminals, a politician who does not value human life equally, a techie who wants to extend human life indefinitely and an unwanted opinion from a man on the internet.
Did we miss a main character from this week? Please send tips to [email protected].