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The Guy Who Tried To Hide His NYC Bagel From The World, And More Of This Week's 'One Main Character'
Every day somebody says or does something that earns them the scorn of the internet. Here at Digg, as part of our mission to curate what the internet is talking about right now, we rounded up the main characters on Twitter from this past week and held them accountable for their actions.
Each day on twitter there is one main character. The goal is to never be it
— maple cocaine (@maplecocaine) January 3, 2019
This week's characters include a very old magazine that made a very big blunder, some person who has beef with cosplayers, a threatening parent who you wouldn't want to be around and a friendly fight between two influencers that got a little testy.
Sunday
Time
The character: Time, 100-year-old magazine, impulsive tweeter
After a dam in the Russian-controlled territories of Ukraine was sabotaged, its reports in the news cycle were plenty, but Time magazine stood out with its take — which has since been amended.
"How Ukraine's dam collapse could become the country's 'Chernobyl'," the title of a post they shared online read.
How Ukraine's dam collapse could become the country's 'Chernobyl' https://t.co/KWPP4aIaKA
— TIME (@TIME) June 12, 2023
In case you're not aware, Chernobyl literally happened in Ukraine — which is why the Time headline is so egregious. It's baffling that a headline like that even went through, when the piece references the Chernobyl disaster itself. However, it takes just the smallest windows for people to point out the absurdities in a miscalculation like this.
The repercussion:
Ripe for jokes, some levelheaded folks did point out that the article was worth a read.
the article itself seems fine, this is just one of the most catastrophic title fuckups in journalism history https://t.co/cTZMvglOWp
— Robert Evans (The Only Robert Evans) (@IwriteOK) June 12, 2023
… the who’s what now? https://t.co/FPEpJHnJyd pic.twitter.com/KR4SeZ5uwM
— наталка 💙💛 (they/them) (@nataliya_gurba) June 12, 2023
when TIME reads all the comments about how Chernobyl is actually located in fucking Ukraine https://t.co/u5BrqJeUnN pic.twitter.com/oZfXEVHv0C
— annie (@persicapit) June 12, 2023
You're gonna flip when you realise where Chernobyl is, chaps. https://t.co/ssI7hYJQxr
— Mike Stuchbery 💀🍷 (@MikeStuchbery_) June 12, 2023
I'm just wondering how someone like the Times can post articles like this one. 'The country's 'Chernobyl''?? Like, hello. First of all, it's ChOrnobyl. Second, Chernobyl is Ukraine. Did you ever open the map??? https://t.co/hwv5rrnGIT pic.twitter.com/bQY8N39RsM
— пані тиранка (@tyranka_ua) June 12, 2023
Adwait Patil
Tuesday
@LionsSpectre
The character: Anonymous Twitter user, a person oblivious about the real world
The plot: Men, have you ever been so confused by the power of make-up and Instagram filters that you think one person is actually two, meant to dupe you? Well, it happened to this poor fella, who got very upset over two images of the same person.
This should be illegal
— 𝐋𝐢𝐨𝐧 (@LionsSpectre) June 14, 2023
(This is the same person) pic.twitter.com/G90a7Ystl2
That's right, using make-up and arson should both be crimes. Lock all those women up for not looking pretty! How dare they.
The repercussion:
The woman in question is cosplayer and Twitch live streamer Saira Spooks who actually responded to the original tweet. But the internet did not take kindly to the facetious(?) implication that people look exactly the same.
This should be illegal
— Andi Hamilton (@andihero) June 15, 2023
(This is the same person) https://t.co/E6CellW53l pic.twitter.com/UUokmck4DR
one photo has an overly airbrushed instagram filter while the other is natural! if you want to make a real comparison, use one of my better selfies with makeup because the results will astound you
— saira 𖥔 ࣪ ˖ (@sairaspooks) June 14, 2023
Her face structure is the same. Don’t be weird
— 🥳hi (@schemecoder) June 14, 2023
Your account consistently has the most immature vibes lol
— Amy (@amytheartist) June 14, 2023
This should be illegal.
— Trinity Blair 🥀🌼 (@TrinnityBlair) June 14, 2023
(This is the same person). pic.twitter.com/MfqcYkkBmx
Way to announce to everyone that you've never had a woman stay the night... This sounds like a you problem.
— 🖤𝖎𝖗𝖊𝖓𝖊🖤 (@irenesbattle) June 14, 2023
— Travis Beck (@TravisB20876602) June 14, 2023
Jared Russo
Sunday
Christy Kelly
The character: Christy Kelly, Twitter user, conservative, weirdo
The plot: We're taking a trip back several decades with this Main Character, a mother who still thinks threatening your daughter's boyfriend with a gun (or multiple guns) is normal and good. She also seems to think "my daughter's chastity is important" is not a deeply weird thing for her husband to say.
Today my teenager’s new boyfriend, my husband, and the young man's momma had an introduction meeting.
— Christy Kelly 🎙️Humanity Assemble🌵 (@Kelly4Humanity) June 12, 2023
My husband told the young man: You can call me Sir. I have 4 guns, my daughter's chastity is important, and you'll have to see me if you do anything to disturb that.
Thank…
The repercussion: Aside from a few concerning individuals, the majority of people in the replies agreed that implying you would harm or shoot a child because they had consensual sex with your daughter is not OK.
I’ve always wondering how the parents of young boys respond when you threaten their sons with guns & violence in the name of misogyny, patriarchy, & toxic masculinity?
— Get Her, Jade! (@keatingssixth) June 12, 2023
Let that be my son you’d have to see me. https://t.co/TcMB5ixaXf
You married a bitch ma’am. A bully ass bitch that needs to threaten a child to get his bitchass point across. If he were not a bitch, he’d have the appropriate communication skills that non bitches possess. https://t.co/UJlEEuZMpq
— MrsBundrige (@MrsBundrige) June 13, 2023
I’m sorry but threatening a young men with I have 4 guns is out of line. Violence isn’t the answer to yours daughters dating. That’s not being a old soul that’s being a bully. And yes I have had a teenage daughter.
— CathyO (@capricat30) June 13, 2023
Is your husband implying he is going to commit first degree premeditated murder if your daughter and boyfriend have consensual sex?
— J. Strand (@DJ_Ajaxx) June 13, 2023
Not at all…
— J. Strand (@DJ_Ajaxx) June 13, 2023
Then why did he feel the need to mention the quantity of firearms he has in the same context as your daughters chastity?
So your daughters chasity belongs to your husband? https://t.co/GuMn5rjIhp pic.twitter.com/3l39awy8wY
— Delegate Watkins (@ChaniCares) June 12, 2023
You do what works for you but I would posit that there are better, more effective, ways to model male behavior and establish boundaries. And, yes, three of my four are girls, two of them already beyond their teens. None have become pregnant, intentionally or otherwise.
— Andrew Dashiell ❤️🌹🌈🖖🇺🇦 (@andydashiell) June 12, 2023
Here’s the issue I have with this out dated approach as a black father of a young king engage in that conversation with the young man without bringing up guns cuz I would perceive that as a threat to my child’s life an I would have to “put the paws on your husband” 🤷🏽♂️
— Amadaeus (@Lito_Holmes) June 13, 2023
This is so violent and I hate that people don’t understand this.
— Nicole Lewis, LCSW, LICSW 🖤 (@NicoleLewisLCSW) June 12, 2023
Y’all so worried about the possibility of your daughters having sex, that you’ll traumatize Black boys. They deserve better. https://t.co/x9re4cn9f7
That's how weak men move. There's ways to have the respect convo without all that rah rah, and if that young man has a father or men who care about him your father may have to honor that check. Do y'all tho.
— Torraine Walker (@TorraineWalker) June 12, 2023
I’m very grateful for my parents that fostered a safe space for sex, instead of guarding my virginity. This has made the journey of waiting for marriage more fulfilling because it’s MY choice. My mom even makes fun of me for being a virgin, like? https://t.co/8MWPwOBXbY
— niccoya is a best buy employee 🏳️🌈 (@niccoyat) June 13, 2023
“Basketball reference!” https://t.co/jDGuhgN4G5 pic.twitter.com/Yblz91vrtA
— moochino🐮⁷ | ⚔️sanusooo👒 (@marimoomilk) June 13, 2023
Darcy Jimenez
Thursday
@Casketpaint
The character: Casketpaint, TikToker, bagel gatekeeper, bad sport
A regular guy in New York City, who influences on TikTok, posted a video of himself enjoying a bagel and then telling his viewers that he would not divulge where it was made, presumably so that no one else could enjoy it.
This is what the internet likes to call gatekeeping, and it always draws polarizing reactions. Trevor Rainbolt (a gamer and online personality) found that video and decided to teach Casketpaint a lesson. Not only did Rainbolt find the bagel (it took some time), but he got the shop to name it after himself too.
absolutely cold blooded https://t.co/1LPOP3xJ8B pic.twitter.com/suTGAwIosc
— fredesque (@FredTaming) June 9, 2023
The repercussion:
Casketpaint alleges that Rainbolt, the "GeoGuessr" player who found his bagel got parts of it right, but not the ingredients. Well, whatever may be the case, the whole deal was a lighthearted affair until Casketpaint started getting threats — which by all means is unacceptable.
Hiding bagels in NY is a felony
— Trace Cohen (@Trace_Cohen) June 8, 2023
Influenced ✅ pic.twitter.com/Hcymfr9jnH
— Steph Mui (@stephmui) June 9, 2023
LMFAO BRO IS SOOOOOO MAD https://t.co/Dnq37mw2aT pic.twitter.com/fj74VdeqLA
— hol @ raid prep arc(?) (@yunalesca) June 10, 2023
this is killing me https://t.co/48aWpzdduj pic.twitter.com/RCO7Tzw9eP
— merc (@jesusfreak8888) June 9, 2023
this is INSANE 😭 https://t.co/v2A7xmwpZC pic.twitter.com/yV2EZp3uFs
— Cruz (@solomarston) June 9, 2023
"you walked approximately 300 feet north and ate it at this table" https://t.co/YqHryZci32 pic.twitter.com/qHjBbh9PFm
— 🏳️⚧️Tranced💕(in despair) (@Tranced42) June 9, 2023
Adwait Patil
———
Read the previous edition of our One Main Character column, which included an unintentionally funny line about Cracker Barrel that might become a motion picture, a professor who loves Teslas because he needs to transport multiple mattresses in one go and a couple of characters who should stay away from personal finance and the dating scene.
Did we miss a main character from this week? Please send tips to [email protected].