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The Grad Student Who Never Partied Or Watched Too Much TV, And More Of This Week's 'One Main Character'

The Grad Student Who Never Partied Or Watched Too Much TV, And More Of This Week's 'One Main Character'
A lesson on why ignorant takes should stay in the drafts folder.
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Every day, somebody says or does something that earns them the scorn of the internet. Here at Digg, as part of our mission to curate what the internet is talking about right now, we rounded up the main characters on Twitter from this past week and held them accountable for their actions.



This week's characters include a politician whose well-intentioned AI take got picked on, a young YouTuber with an ignorant take on marriage, another politico who tried to frame Biden for Costco's reasonable prices and a professor who didn't party enough.



Sunday

Chuck Schumer

The character: Chuck Schumer, New York State Senator, newly minted AI fan

The plot: With just one tweet, Democratic and Senate Majority Leader Chuck Schumer backed the idea of artificial intelligence infiltrating our modern life. And boy, was this tweet just kicking the hornets nest.

"Congress must join the AI revolution," he tweeted, and shared more thoughts.


The repercussion: Schumer added more tweets, but people just took that first quote and ran away with it. Schumer followed up by saying "we need an all-hands on-deck approach," and invited the top minds in AI to Congress for a forum about security and action. Regulating things like AI is worth exploring, and yet, that was clearly not the takeaway.

But Twitter doesn't want context, it wants jokes! And they delivered.


Jared Russo



Tuesday

H. Pearl Davis

The character: H. Pearl Davis, YouTuber, banned on TikTok, fan of marriage; not of separation

The plot: If you thought someone trying to outlaw make-up was bad, we now have one better (or worse?) with the "divorce should be illegal" hot take.

That's right, under no circumstances should any two people get divorced, in this person's very well thought out opinion. Marry a serial killer? Nope, sorry, you cannot make any mistakes. Too bad, work it out.


The repercussion: Many folks just decided to dunk all over H. Pearl Davis, who in her Twitter profile says she is 26-years-old. That particular fact turned out to be her downfall, as many people pointed out that an adult came up with this tweet and not an actual child.


Jared Russo



Sunday

Stefani Lord

The character: Stefani Lord, state politician, Coscto shopper, bad at math

The plot: Lord, who represents New Mexico's 22nd district in the NM House of Representatives spent $800 at Costco — on 58 items, nine of which were non-food — and was mad at the President that it cost her so much. That's under $14 per item on average, which at Costco could probably get you six bottles of olive oil, one electric toothbrush or a pair of jeans. The possibilities are endless.

She carried on to specify that there were no alcohol, tires, electronics or other big purchases, and the receipt shared also didn't show an itemized list.


The repercussion: Going after Costco for online clout invites the same chaos as running red lights does. Angry people coming at you from every direction.


Adwait Patil



Thursday

Matthew Salesses

The character: Matthew Salesses, writer, professor, was studying the blade when his friends were partying

The plot: A few weeks ago, one writer, Kevin Maloney, wrote an inspiring thread about his friend Clark, and how Clark never partied on Friday nights and instead honed is craft (painting) and became very good at it. Maloney, a writer, did the same and became a better version of himself.

Cut to last week, fiction writer Matthew Salesses quote-tweeted Maloney and put himself in the director, actor and producer's chair. Salesses said he never partied either, but the one time he did, he was accosted, asked about his success, to which he smugly gave them a modified Clark-esque story.


The repercussion:

Writers on Twitter, especially in the advent of tweet threads, has always been a mistake, but time and again there are the exceptions to my generalizing statements that prove me wrong because Salesses's tweet was mostly dunked on by other writers and artists. Everyone else was probably out partying.


Adwait Patil



———

Read the previous edition of our One Main Character column, which included a very old magazine that made a very big blunder, some person who has beef with cosplayers, a threatening parent who you wouldn't want to be around and a friendly fight between two influencers that got a little testy.


Did we miss a main character from this week? Please send tips to [email protected].

Comments

  1. John Doe 10 months ago

    You don't have to be a teetotaling PhD candidate to know that guy is a tool!

    He probably doesn't own a TV either and says that whenever someone mentions a television show.


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