live a little
The Grad Student Who Never Partied Or Watched Too Much TV, And More Of This Week's 'One Main Character'
Every day, somebody says or does something that earns them the scorn of the internet. Here at Digg, as part of our mission to curate what the internet is talking about right now, we rounded up the main characters on Twitter from this past week and held them accountable for their actions.
Each day on twitter there is one main character. The goal is to never be it
— maple cocaine (@maplecocaine) January 3, 2019
This week's characters include a politician whose well-intentioned AI take got picked on, a young YouTuber with an ignorant take on marriage, another politico who tried to frame Biden for Costco's reasonable prices and a professor who didn't party enough.
Sunday
Chuck Schumer
The character: Chuck Schumer, New York State Senator, newly minted AI fan
The plot: With just one tweet, Democratic and Senate Majority Leader Chuck Schumer backed the idea of artificial intelligence infiltrating our modern life. And boy, was this tweet just kicking the hornets nest.
"Congress must join the AI revolution," he tweeted, and shared more thoughts.
Congress must join the AI revolution.
— Chuck Schumer (@SenSchumer) June 21, 2023
The repercussion: Schumer added more tweets, but people just took that first quote and ran away with it. Schumer followed up by saying "we need an all-hands on-deck approach," and invited the top minds in AI to Congress for a forum about security and action. Regulating things like AI is worth exploring, and yet, that was clearly not the takeaway.
But Twitter doesn't want context, it wants jokes! And they delivered.
there's no way chuck schumer actually knows fuck all about AI. this is so funny
— Colin Spacetwinks (@spacetwinks) June 21, 2023
Charles, no https://t.co/SxhNJyJcEf
— Nick Miller (@NickMillerMusic) June 21, 2023
This obviously sucks ass but I'm laughing so hard at Chuck Schumer saying this https://t.co/u0BExS18sk
— Mr. Chau (@Srirachachau) June 21, 2023
I do think you could replace Chuck Schumer with a computer. Not even a very new one. https://t.co/3QHmq2RiRL
— Art from Friends at the Table (@atebbel) June 21, 2023
Schumer was replaced by AI years ago https://t.co/vDxm6Bhk2f pic.twitter.com/cirPgmx78x
— Eli Valley (@elivalley) June 21, 2023
Make him a Senator https://t.co/6Ip7fKI4ZU pic.twitter.com/awnb04yk3S
— Barbieheimer (@Hey_Brian) June 21, 2023
Behold, a statement that is at once almost completely meaningless and very discouraging. It indicates our Senate Majority Leader has little grasp on what AI can actually do, yet is signaling to the companies selling it that he and his colleagues are on board, and pro-industry https://t.co/1yMZYdCT2k
— Brian Merchant (@bcmerchant) June 21, 2023
Eerie to see this tweeted on the morning it's announced Metal Gear Solid 2 is coming to the Nintendo Switch..... https://t.co/lzEJEK4mQw
— Jingleghost (@JeremyMonjo) June 21, 2023
I'd rather you guys built a sane healthcare system, thanks. https://t.co/JoKdaJ2DC8
— Robert Morris (@RobboLaw) June 21, 2023
Jared Russo
Tuesday
H. Pearl Davis
The character: H. Pearl Davis, YouTuber, banned on TikTok, fan of marriage; not of separation
The plot: If you thought someone trying to outlaw make-up was bad, we now have one better (or worse?) with the "divorce should be illegal" hot take.
Getting divorced should be illegal and I’ll stand on this hill. You should work it out point blank period. It’s not about you anymore it’s about your children
— H. Pearl Davis (@pearlythingz) June 15, 2023
That's right, under no circumstances should any two people get divorced, in this person's very well thought out opinion. Marry a serial killer? Nope, sorry, you cannot make any mistakes. Too bad, work it out.
The repercussion: Many folks just decided to dunk all over H. Pearl Davis, who in her Twitter profile says she is 26-years-old. That particular fact turned out to be her downfall, as many people pointed out that an adult came up with this tweet and not an actual child.
Your tweet should be ilegal
— Jessica Sagari (@JessicaSagari) June 16, 2023
Girl, you’re 26 years old reasoning like an eight year old.
— Tressie McMillan Cottom (@tressiemcphd) June 16, 2023
Wow, I thought I was dumb at 26 but I knew better than this.
— ☃️Jonathan🐈 (@dvduadotcom) June 16, 2023
— Guy Hamilton-Smith (@G_Padraic) June 16, 2023
So if one parent is abusive to the other and / or the kids? Should they just “work it out” for the kids sake? Does that seem like the logical thing to do?
— ryanØnmars (@Ryan0nMars) June 15, 2023
Having lived a long time and seen a lot of those children you are so worried about ruined by dead marriages between unhappy people, I can offer you this award for the day. pic.twitter.com/0VYYTaQoPb
— David Niall Wilson - CEO Crossroad Press (@CrossroadPress) June 16, 2023
Kids aren’t stupid and they can tell when their parents have a dysfunctional relationship or don’t love each other.
— Merrick 🦂 (Villain Era) (@punishedmother) June 15, 2023
It’s way better for them to have a non-nuclear family where they see their parents in happy, healthy relationships https://t.co/g0KSEP0G6Y
*Tapping the sign* https://t.co/lPxS2djWFV pic.twitter.com/tCvQmYVLg1
— Jordan - slclunk.bsky.social (@SLCLunk) June 15, 2023
Staying together for your kids does waaaaay more harm than good in the long run, because they see all that’s going on & it affects them negatively. https://t.co/GcCMfMnDGf
— Renike (@iamrenike) June 16, 2023
What a fucking ignorant take. https://t.co/w7GDK3RNpO
— Jennifer Gunter (@DrJenGunter) June 16, 2023
Jared Russo
Sunday
Stefani Lord
The character: Stefani Lord, state politician, Coscto shopper, bad at math
The plot: Lord, who represents New Mexico's 22nd district in the NM House of Representatives spent $800 at Costco — on 58 items, nine of which were non-food — and was mad at the President that it cost her so much. That's under $14 per item on average, which at Costco could probably get you six bottles of olive oil, one electric toothbrush or a pair of jeans. The possibilities are endless.
Thanks, Joe Biden!
— Rep Stefani Lord (@Lord4NM) June 20, 2023
$799.38 for ONE full cart at Costco with 58 items and only 9 non-food items like paper towels, plastic bags, trash bags, and razors. pic.twitter.com/wbNWojGiDz
She carried on to specify that there were no alcohol, tires, electronics or other big purchases, and the receipt shared also didn't show an itemized list.
The repercussion: Going after Costco for online clout invites the same chaos as running red lights does. Angry people coming at you from every direction.
Can we just pass the inflation on to the 81 million people that voted for this?
— EODMadman (@EODMadman) June 21, 2023
Thanks Joe Biden for a $799.38 Costco bill that could literally be anything https://t.co/kp7NT0cEtM pic.twitter.com/NwFaFiYsnx
— JohnQFugly (@GallopingMetal) June 21, 2023
Thats literally 13 bucks an item at a bulk store. That's not unreasonable. But also, show us how many briskets you bought. https://t.co/gVCwqnaakm
— Jivin' Jimothy Saucenagle (@SchlossJive) June 21, 2023
You may ask "what kind of tone-deaf asshole spends $800 at Costco then whinges about it online".
— JChoe (@JoohnChoe) June 21, 2023
Well, Lord represents NM State House 22, which is unusually affluent, and white, compared to the rest of her state.
So, I mean... https://t.co/spaE9IxWrK pic.twitter.com/EjWJ8nmkNA
58 items at Costco is probably 6 months worth of food. Sounds like she got a bargain. https://t.co/uj2iiYCO74 pic.twitter.com/fYEkOoXd7m
— Jen (@JenTusch) June 21, 2023
PS5: $499.00
— 💀DeathMetalViking💀 (@DeathMetalV) June 21, 2023
57 other items: $300.38
THANKS, JOE BIDEN! https://t.co/cBg6LAUrMX
You pay $8 a month to be on a free site. No one takes you seriously when it comes to spending. https://t.co/mx2XGLIJ4a
— Ehren (@CampArlington) June 20, 2023
Locked replied and not showing the whole receipt... https://t.co/7qwZf5gkff pic.twitter.com/VlYSrLrpZH
— Dan (@Eodyne1) June 21, 2023
Adwait Patil
Thursday
Matthew Salesses
The character: Matthew Salesses, writer, professor, was studying the blade when his friends were partying
The plot: A few weeks ago, one writer, Kevin Maloney, wrote an inspiring thread about his friend Clark, and how Clark never partied on Friday nights and instead honed is craft (painting) and became very good at it. Maloney, a writer, did the same and became a better version of himself.
Cut to last week, fiction writer Matthew Salesses quote-tweeted Maloney and put himself in the director, actor and producer's chair. Salesses said he never partied either, but the one time he did, he was accosted, asked about his success, to which he smugly gave them a modified Clark-esque story.
When I was in my PhD program I didn’t go to any parties except one, where a bunch of the other students cornered me, drunk, to ask what I was doing that I was getting some success, as if it wasn’t just from writing instead of going to parties and watching too much tv. https://t.co/2ZCaurkPTW
— the writer formerly known as Matthew Salesses (@salesses) June 18, 2023
The repercussion:
Writers on Twitter, especially in the advent of tweet threads, has always been a mistake, but time and again there are the exceptions to my generalizing statements that prove me wrong because Salesses's tweet was mostly dunked on by other writers and artists. Everyone else was probably out partying.
I’m currently in my PhD program and I don’t go to parties AT ALL, and I’m still not successful https://t.co/dG1jTI7EXp
— Ivan Alcantara (@ivancedric_a) June 19, 2023
When I was in my PhD programme, I often went to the pub and clubbing all night with PhD colleagues. Now I’m about to become a professor and still spent this last weekend at Berghain with 8 professional academics I know. There is a high likelihood more were there too. https://t.co/ZZWU5Uphe7
— João Florêncio (@NoisyBits) June 19, 2023
I say the same thing except instead of “I don’t go to parties” it’s “Im just morally better than you that’s why god made me talented & successful” https://t.co/EGynnI1rLq
— metaforikal jeſſi (@jejesjesijessi) June 19, 2023
When I was in undergrad, my MA, & my PhD program, I went to lots of parties, had some relationships & a few hookups, worked jobs & worked out. Buried my mom, handled her estate, married, had a first kid. Learned two more languages. Also wrote a good bit. It’s ok to live a life https://t.co/37AAqfzILy
— Gregory B. Sadler 🦉 (no blue check, just owl) (@philosopher70) June 19, 2023
In PhD programs, you cannot even go outside. You cannot go to parties, except maybe one, but when you go to this party, a bunch of other students will corner you, drunk, and demand you tell them what you are doing to get some success when all you did was write... there is no TV. https://t.co/lBAeN3mEQV pic.twitter.com/VvZkGFIY9P
— kdadshiumi (@hoshiumisexy) June 19, 2023
While you were partying I studied The Pen. When you were having premarital sex I mastered Elements of Style. While you wasted your days at the gym in pursuit of vanity I cultivated Sparkling Prose. And now that the industry is dying you have the audacity to come to me for help? https://t.co/wwC3r3XjfC
— Erik Baker (@erikmbaker) June 18, 2023
when i was in my PhD program i never consumed anything but soylent and i placed a rectal tube and foley so i would never have to leave the bench. idk i'm just built different -- https://t.co/DM6kIEtz14
— Sanjee Baksh, MD, PhD (@S__Baksh) June 19, 2023
yeah this isn’t a flex. Some of us like healthy work life balance and telling us you didn’t do that bc you preferred holding yourself emotionally hostage to upkeep optics of productivity is just…why people decide to leave academia anyways. https://t.co/t9IdY9b6CY
— quirkily sinister (@itatiVCS) June 20, 2023
when someday I am standing at the gates of hell and the devil asks me if I have any regrets, I will look him dead in the eye and say “only that I didn’t party enough” https://t.co/AggvWWs6UR
— ⌬ anna davis! ⌬ (@radscientist_) June 19, 2023
Adwait Patil
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Read the previous edition of our One Main Character column, which included a very old magazine that made a very big blunder, some person who has beef with cosplayers, a threatening parent who you wouldn't want to be around and a friendly fight between two influencers that got a little testy.
Did we miss a main character from this week? Please send tips to [email protected].