wear a helmet
A Cyclist With No Regard For His Cat's Safety, And More Of This Week's 'One Main Character'
Every day, somebody says or does something that earns them the scorn of the internet. Here at Digg, as part of our mission to curate what the internet is talking about right now, we rounded up the main characters on Twitter from this past week and held them accountable for their actions.
Each day on twitter there is one main character. The goal is to never be it
— maple cocaine (@maplecocaine) January 3, 2019
This week, we've got a skydiving baby dilemma, a guy who bikes his cat around without much regard for safety and a new Amazon office that used to be a prison.
Tuesday
Anonymous Quora Poster
The character: The alleged Christian who posted on Quora
The plot: This question was asked earlier in the year, but only took off as a meme this week. A troll, or a real genuine religious person, wanted to incite a religious war with atheists. Or make a very sick, cruel joke. We can’t tell what the motives were, but we can laugh at the results.
Lmao pic.twitter.com/TS09851zi3
— 𝓡𝓱𝓮𝓪 𝓝𝓲𝓬𝓸𝓵𝓮 (@TheTweetOfRhea) November 14, 2023
The repercussion: The question is real, but it's true intentions will never be known. Some tried to answer it in earnest, while others simply didn't care.
1. Why is a baby skydiving, who signed off on that?
— Apothecary Whom? (@Apothecary_Whom) November 14, 2023
2. Where are the babies parents?
3. Why can the baby talk?
4. how does the baby have the strength to pull the ripcord?
5. Why do I now have to explain to the parents why their baby is dead?
Not a logical situation. Who would ever take a baby, especially one not your own skydiving and how is a baby articulate enough to tell you that he won't open his parachute? Atheists tend to rely on logic, not fantasy.
— Faith Winter (@FaithWinter2) November 15, 2023
don't worry, we covered the skydiving christian baby quora question several months ago: pic.twitter.com/SPVWF9ZU5t
— Quora Of The Day (@Quorators) November 15, 2023
Have you ever been skydiving with a Christian baby? pic.twitter.com/SYMdQPEonP
— The Space Bunny! (@resoluteCourier) November 15, 2023
I would wake up from this very strange dream. Babies can't go skydiving, can't pull a cord, and cannot talk.
— Nevermore Nox (@asteriaofnight) November 15, 2023
Why are Christians so fucking weird? https://t.co/lG8N1zWewb
Please help me I can't stop reading about skydiving Christian babies
— mo (@hecksmaniac) November 15, 2023
When people ask why I’m Christian I tell them of the time I went skydiving with a Christian baby. pic.twitter.com/KVyowvW6oO
— Billy Sierra (@BillySierra16) November 16, 2023
Jared Russo
Monday
Travis
The character: Travis/@sigirides, cyclist and cat owner
The plot: Travis is a cyclist and X user who shares photos and videos of himself riding around town with his cat Sigrid in tow. This week, he shared the below clip of a moped knocking into him at a green traffic light, sending him and his poor cat to the ground.
Impatient, close passing moped driver knocked us off our bike today. Fortunately the police (?) were right behind us, so they could scold me for not wearing a helmet and then leave. First time off my bike since 2007.
— Travis and Sigrid (@sigirides) November 13, 2023
Sigrid is fine; my knee is messed up, can't ride for a bit. pic.twitter.com/LdAESnSXnO
This image is seared into my brain. At this moment the only thing going through my mind was "please don't go under the tires". pic.twitter.com/iGM4wm9AGO
— Travis and Sigrid (@sigirides) November 13, 2023
The repercussion: While the moped driver might be in the wrong for knocking into the pair (although even that appears to be up for debate, judging by the replies), many people took issue with Travis's cycling, his lack of a helmet and, above all, his decision put his cat at risk by taking it out on the roads.
if you put your cats life on the line to make content you’re a fucking loser https://t.co/hDtSEbttVc
— laura 🦠 (@ecto_fun) November 14, 2023
imagine grabbing your phone first instead of checking if something happened to your cat or not
— ash (@at0mix_) November 14, 2023
This guy is absolutely desperate for his cat to get splattered all over the streets of London so he has the vindicated cyclist tweet to end all vindicated cyclist tweets https://t.co/LkJHDq68xa
— Sophie (@sophierebeccaf) November 14, 2023
I think you’re arguing with everyone for no reason. Wear head protection. Keep the cat safe. You nearly lost him. Drive with an eye to everyone else’s safety and you’ll hopefully stay safe too. You know you nearly lost him? That’d play on my mind. Keep safe.
— ScotsVix (@Scotsvix) November 14, 2023
Why the hell do you think it appropriate to take your cat on a bicycle? The moped was clearly in the wrong, and I am sorry for your injury, but your cat should be safe at home
— Tom Hutt (@TomHutt2) November 13, 2023
Glad Sigrid is okay. The only reason a helmet didn’t matter was because you were lucky enough to not hit your head. Wear a helmet. They matter.
— Pegpio ♏️🦂🏳️🌈🏳️⚧️ (@MissedtheFence) November 14, 2023
i hate when people put their pets in unsafe situations for attention and clicks. hate it. there are safe ways to take your cat out for supervised outdoor time and this is just being careless. https://t.co/NaaXzl5nj6
— latke (@latkedelrey) November 14, 2023
Darcy Jimenez
Thursday
The Amazon Web Services Office In Haarlem, Netherlands
The character: AWS and its office, a literal former prison designed as a panopticon
The plot: X user @cullend shared TikToker Laura's video online, which showed a new-ish AWS office in Haarlem, Netherlands, which was proudly advertised as being a former prison.
Amazon converted a literal jail to an office. The conference rooms and private areas are literally jail cells.
— Cullen (@cullend) November 10, 2023
They literally work in prison cells pic.twitter.com/TYieRM01RC
The repercussion: Working for a notorious mega corporation that doesn't treat its workers fairly, and now makes some of them sit in a panopticon designed prison? Not a lot of AWS or panopticon supporters in the chats.
thats not just a prison its one of the original panopticons lmfao https://t.co/Gb6GAefHAX
— sigfig (@sigfig) November 10, 2023
Managers: “Return to the office. It’s not like it’s a prison!”
— Douglas A. Boneparth (@dougboneparth) November 10, 2023
The office: pic.twitter.com/BMTJlns6yv
Amazon seems to have turned the Koepelgevangnis in Haarlem, a literal 1901 Bentham panopticon-inspired penitentiary, into an AWS office. Can’t make it up. https://t.co/OGgLMbL5i1 pic.twitter.com/ZHumrpI1Lh
— Michael Veale @[email protected] (@mikarv) November 10, 2023
https://t.co/T3WzijcwHw pic.twitter.com/Li1BiYZpQk
— Jon (@TheLitCritGuy) November 10, 2023
Foucault https://t.co/jbvr6LeUTT pic.twitter.com/1hBAdIQsLX
— H. Berk Gelecekkaygılıoğlu (@hasanberkakkoc) November 10, 2023
>it's real https://t.co/ALZsmcWdrG pic.twitter.com/j0J6en9ZVG
— Beff Jezos — e/acc ⏩ (@BasedBeffJezos) November 10, 2023
ne montrez pas les nouveaux locaux d'Amazon à Foucault !! https://t.co/8BejcA64O9 pic.twitter.com/POmKkFIUNP
— Para todos la luz, para todos todo. (@twittoslambda_) November 10, 2023
Perfect, they got rid of the guard tower. Now it's easy to explain the difference between apparatus of discipline and control. https://t.co/iz7EEnqwnA
— Malcolm Harris (@BigMeanInternet) November 10, 2023
Better than an open office
— BROOKLYDAMUS (@Brooklydamus) November 10, 2023
Adwait Patil
Read the previous edition of our One Main Character column, which featured a disappointed Tesla owner who should've seen it coming, another unhinged rant by Azealia Banks and Garnett's controversial new Swiftie reporter.
[Image credit: YouTube]