buyer's remorse
Gannett's New Taylor Swift Reporter, And More Of This Week's 'One Main Character'
Every day, somebody says or does something that earns them the scorn of the internet. Here at Digg, as part of our mission to curate what the internet is talking about right now, we rounded up the main characters on Twitter from this past week and held them accountable for their actions.
Each day on twitter there is one main character. The goal is to never be it
— maple cocaine (@maplecocaine) January 3, 2019
This week, we've got a disappointed Tesla owner who should've seen it coming, another unhinged rant by Azealia Banks and Garnett's controversial new Swiftie reporter.
Tuesday
@QuinnvestLamb
The character: Twitter user "The Lamb," former SpaceX worker, pissed-off Tesla owner
The plot: Mr. T. Lamb here reports that he purchased a Tesla Model Y last year, and he's furious that the overall value has plummeted since then. He goes on to bring up instances where Elon Musk made some rather, let's say, ambitious claims about how Tesla vehicles will actually make money for owners by becoming "Robotaxis," — but none of that has come to pass.
I bought my Tesla Model Y Long Range in 2022 for $66,990.
— The Lamb (@QuinnvestLamb) November 7, 2023
Today it's worth $27,000. It depreciates $2k per month.
Elon Musk said I'd be able to add it to a RoboTaxi Network and it would do Uber drives while I slept; this never materialized. pic.twitter.com/9TxOTnwGBj
People immediately got in his replies explaining the concept of depreciation and the foolishness of trusting anything coming out of Musk's mouth. Fundamentally, his criticisms aren't so much wrong as they are incredibly obvious.
The repercussion: It'd be nice to think this was a hard lesson in skepticism, and a reminder not to pay Elon Musk money. But given that he sports a Blue Check, maybe there is still more to learn here.
"Elon Musk said I'd be able to add it to a RoboTaxi Network and it would do Uber drives while I slept" https://t.co/4kTQA1TU2j pic.twitter.com/rHoHfU0Gw2
— 👾👹CIA Chief TechniHell Analyst With 8 Kids👹👾 (@CiaKids) November 7, 2023
Ah people are finally catching on https://t.co/kZ1rqrRpnF
— Symoné B. Beez (@SymoneBeez) November 7, 2023
My Tesla works at chipotle and makes way more than 30k a year
— LoungyAF (@JG3693) November 7, 2023
That's how.... Cars work.
— Sondered (@RobinYourHoods) November 8, 2023
It will drive on mars too
— axcilla (@axcilla) November 7, 2023
"I bought my Tesla" spotted the mistake right there :D
— Daniel 🇮🇲🪝 (@daniel_wwf) November 7, 2023
Screen name and blue tick checks out.
— Romancing SaGa Re; WhoniverSe (@ReWhoniverSe) November 7, 2023
Grant Brunner
Wednesday
Azealia Banks
The character: Azealia Banks, rapper, singer, unparalleled hater
The plot: Azealia Banks is no stranger to controversy and having beef with other music artists, but this latest incident is especially confusing. After Troye Sivan named Banks' hit "212" as his go-to pregame song in a Spotify interview, Banks launched into a homophobic and entirely unprovoked rant about him on her Instagram story.
In the post, she calls Sivan an "expired twink" and accuses him of adopting a "pedophilia x incest aesthetic," whatever that means. And of course, no unhinged rant by Azealia Banks would be complete without a transphobic comment, which you'll see in the screenshot below.
Azealia Banks responds to Troye Sivan stating her track ‘212’ is his ‘go-to pregame’ song, via Instagram stories. pic.twitter.com/i04f6P0IJ3
— Pop Base (@PopBase) November 8, 2023
The repercussion: People online reacted like any rational person would, expressing total disbelief at Banks having such a hateful response to someone complimenting her music.
She really is her worst enemy .
— Kiwisim4 (@kiwisim4) November 8, 2023
wtf she couldn’t just take the complement and go??? pic.twitter.com/B7ewEiyTqL
— lesego. 🪩 (@LeeLovesBey) November 8, 2023
Girl calm down, he was appreciating your music. The last bit of relevancy you have beside your temper tantrums. You got issues if you really finding a problem out of everything.
— steven ❀ (@arianaunext) November 8, 2023
oh so we woke up to azealia banks body shaming troye and being transphobic…………… what’s new https://t.co/H2eSRBchK3
— leon (@skyferrori) November 8, 2023
what artist should azealia banks attack for no reason next? https://t.co/EjU44SoVee
— Anthony Thee Fantano (@theneedledrop) November 8, 2023
im crying he was complimenting her not shading her 😭😭😭
— tophia • spread kindness (@tophiachuloves) November 8, 2023
she thought she ate😭
— juaan (@juaangng_) November 8, 2023
no one loves azealia banks more than gay men and no one hates gay men more than azealia banks https://t.co/frLgkWQF4b
— beautiful princess with a disorder (@rhymeswpicard) November 9, 2023
Local Gay Man Smiled Casually at Azealia Banks in Passing and She Stalked Him Cross-Country for Ten Days Like a Hungry Polar Bear and Ate Him and His Entire Family pic.twitter.com/JaKZdg5tm9
— Justin Randall (@imjustinrandall) November 9, 2023
Azealia whenever she gets the chance to add another random celeb to her beef list pic.twitter.com/pzI4kwyJWS
— BADDEST ALIVE (@thetirekinge) November 8, 2023
azealia banks when somebody praises her pic.twitter.com/2m3u4YrjBB
— ✨ (@magdalenepop) November 8, 2023
Darcy Jimenez
Wednesday
Gannett's Taylor Swift reporter
The character: Bryan West, Gannett's new Taylor Swift reporter
The plot: After much consternation, buzz and memes, Gannett has officially hired 35-year-old Bryan West as their new Taylor Swift reporter. He's a legit journalist, a legit Swiftie, and yet somehow has satisfied no one in either of those camps.
EXCLUSIVE: USA Today has hired 35-year-old Bryan West as its full-time "Taylor Swift" reporter.
— Variety (@Variety) November 6, 2023
What does West want to ask Swift? “I love ‘Wildest Dreams.’ I can’t believe that was her heartbeat. I want to ask her, ‘Were you in the doctor’s office and they were just taking a… pic.twitter.com/mqMUWKDLBk
The repercussion: It seems this was always destined to end in derision and controversy, no matter who they hired or what that reporter actually did. Enthusiast press, sports journalists, tweens and poptimists, and pretty much everybody under the sun were taking shots. This guy hasn't even put pen to paper yet, not hit one single key on his keyboard, and already the knives and pitchforks and torches are out for him to be fired.
Sucks for Bryan, who no doubt wanted to celebrate his exciting new job, but there are legitimate criticisms — including that a die-hard Taylor Swift fan probably isn't the best pick if you're hoping for incisive, and sometimes critical, reporting on the pop star.
this job was a trap: media people don't respect this guy because he's a stan, the swifties don't respect him because he's not the right kind of stan pic.twitter.com/dzMpE05mCu
— Max Tani (@maxwelltani) November 7, 2023
The problem with the Taylor Swift reporter hire is that Gannet hired a full stan, rather than someone who is capable of being critical of one of the most powerful people in pop culture. https://t.co/DL0b5pgOxG
— Ben Goggin (@BenjaminGoggin) November 7, 2023
women get made fun of for loving taylor swift, men get jobs for loving her https://t.co/Wtkodv2y5i
— inthaf defense attorney (@kidonherown) November 7, 2023
Gannett's employees: Stop using AI, please quit firing our friends and invest in journalism.
— Jerod MacDonald-Evoy (@JerodMacEvoy) November 7, 2023
Gannett: How about we hire this guy to write about Taylor Swift instead? https://t.co/eEbrmiXxSH
They hired a man to cover Taylor Swift. Okay.
— Alisha Grauso (@AlishaGrauso) November 6, 2023
I’m so sick of running as fast as I can, wondering if I’d get there quicker if I was a man?
— April Glick Pulito (@aprilglick) November 6, 2023
Jared Russo
Read the previous edition of our One Main Character column, which featured Joe Russo coming for Scorsese, a horrible Halloween costume idea, an insensitive take on Matthew Perry's death and a controversial bagel order.
[Image credit: YouTube]