ivy leaguers strike again
The Age Gap Essay Making Eyes Roll, And More Of This Week's 'One Main Character'
Every day, somebody says or does something that earns them the scorn of the internet. Here at Digg, as part of our mission to curate what the internet is talking about right now, we rounded up the main characters on X from this past week and held them accountable for their actions.
Each day on twitter there is one main character. The goal is to never be it
— maple cocaine (@maplecocaine) January 3, 2019
This week, we've got a degenerate take by a presidential nominee parody, a guy who loves his chairs more than his family and a writer who was thrown to the wolves (maybe by design) by The Cut.
Monday
@sexyRFK
The character: @sexyRFK, X user, breast ponderer
The plot: Breasts: A body part for the ages. Many people have them, and even more people have opinions about them. A bizarre "Sexy RFK" X account with dueling Biden/MAGA hats placed on classic pictures of Robert F. Kennedy (the OG, not his anti-vax spawn running for President) has posed a question to "MEN" about their breast size preferences. The core of the question is a snore, but the way the question was asked really made eyes roll from Melbourne to Boston.
MEN, which do you prefer?
— Robert F. Kennedy🇺🇸🌐 (@sexyRFK) March 25, 2024
The aristocratic elegance of the small breasted woman,
OR
The Nietzschean pro-sex, pro-beauty large breasted woman? pic.twitter.com/3i7ywhtsro
The repercussion: Nobody cares what "MEN" have to say about breasts in general, but the specifics here make this post like catnip to the chronically online. Troll accounts are presumably created to evoke these kinds of responses, so it seems "Sexy RFK" is getting just what they want. Hooray?
Idk I think I’m pro war again. We need somewhere to send these men with a near guarantee they will never return https://t.co/1VyeFtDyFb
— Dumpling Queen 🍉 (@LadyDumplings) March 26, 2024
MEN, which do you prefer?
— ( J ) Feyd Rautha’s Dark Heart (@hardest_my) March 27, 2024
The aristocratic elegance of the small breasted woman,
OR
The Nietzschean pro-sex, pro-beauty large breasted woman? https://t.co/h1UiJn6wUP pic.twitter.com/aeF87u8Ind
More people have seen this tweet than died in WW1 https://t.co/4F0d0NkK1s
— 🇬🇧WilliamTheBonqueror (@WillTheKid1507) March 28, 2024
This is how you guys sound when y’all make posts like this lmaoo https://t.co/g5dukJVI6v pic.twitter.com/gbNjDuWXSS
— 𝑹𝒉𝒂𝒂𝒔𝒕𝒊𝒆 (@RhaastIRL) March 28, 2024
MEN, which do you prefer?
— charlie (@ROBlN93) March 28, 2024
The aristocratic elegance of the small breasted woman,
OR
The Nietzschean pro-sex, pro-beauty large breasted woman? https://t.co/vgUFmyR6Sy pic.twitter.com/e1Gd0iCPfp
PRO MALE LONELINESS https://t.co/XnnNNoCn5L pic.twitter.com/0kagpwjw4k
— anne ౨ৎ (@CLEARED4GIRLS) March 26, 2024
WOMEN, which do you prefer?
— madison (@xgigglypuff) March 27, 2024
The aristocratic elegance of the small breasted man,
OR
The Nietzschean pro-sex, pro-beauty large breasted man? https://t.co/kvEpx8XGkR pic.twitter.com/WQEw6D7u1P
Grant Brunner
Saturday
Grantavius
The character: @nicholasig13, inconsiderate fiancé, rocking chair enthusiast
The plot: On the weekend, X user @nicholasig13 took to the app to air a grievance with his pregnant fiancée: she doesn't want to put the rocking chair his mother nursed him and his sister in in their new baby's nursery.
My pregnant fiancee just told me we can't put the rocking chair my father bought for my mother that my sister and I were both nursed on in the baby's nursery because it won't match her "theme".
— Grantavius (@nicholasig13) March 24, 2024
Both my parents have passed. This is a big fucking issue for me.
The OP's annoyance might seem understandable at first, but it quickly becomes clear that he's not looking for compromise. After one user tells him to ignore her wishes and simply do as he pleases, he replies, "that was my plan."
That was my plan
— Grantavius (@nicholasig13) March 24, 2024
The repercussion: Sharing a private argument between yourself and your partner online is bad enough — but his lack of regard for the feelings and wants of the person carrying his child is astounding. She's the one who's going to be spending time in that room nursing the baby, so it seems fair that she gets to pick what kind of chair she does that in, no?
Also, can't the chair just go in another room in the house? Couldn't OP's sister — who also has a connection to the chair, and could perhaps even use it for nursing her own child — have it? There are plenty ways around this dispute, but disrespecting your partner and the mother of your child isn't one of them.
You are a man, you will spend precisely 0 hours nursing the baby in that chair so you should have precisely zero opinions about what the nursery looks like https://t.co/VooYEnjQev
— RFH🦎👁🗨🪐🌘 ⬛️ (Doctor) (@hollowearthterf) March 25, 2024
My pregnant fiancee just told me we can't use the car seat my mother used for my sister and I, because it’s “not safe".
— shenetworks (@shenetworks) March 26, 2024
Both my parents have passed. This is a big fucking issue for me. pic.twitter.com/H2F0vbNbor
See, here’s the deal. It isn’t even about the chair. It’s about the emotional freight you’ve loaded into the chair. You’ve convinced yourself that if she doesn’t embrace and honor that freight, then she doesn’t love you. But to your fiancee, it’s just about accessorizing a room…
— Daniel Knauf (@daniel_knauf) March 25, 2024
I think a bigger issue is bringing private problems between you and the mother of your child onto Twitter. I can understand why you are frustrated but this ain’t it
— Ost3n Art (@Ost3nArt) March 25, 2024
Sorry to harp on this but you can also tell he's an asshole bc he puts "theme" in quotes as if designing the nursery is a silly little hobby instead of putting thought into a safe, functional space for your baby and you. The way her work and care is written off as unnecessary. https://t.co/ObE1QDmB4L
— Lucy Huber (@clhubes) March 25, 2024
imagine being pregnant and finding out your partner talks like this about you online pic.twitter.com/QYEW4duKEM
— elle (@ellegist) March 25, 2024
Me when my bitch pregnant fiance is being a bitch qgain https://t.co/94oERhhWVs pic.twitter.com/X5KIyxvWOx
— Nathan J Robinson (@jesuslasupajew) March 25, 2024
If my husband ever breaks his leg I’m going to insist he uses this. It has no sentimental value I just like it. Goes with my “antique chair” theme. pic.twitter.com/tHRpF7SALR
— Jennifer Leigh (@The_Feminist_TM) March 25, 2024
“My mommy nursed me in that chair. So you’ll also nurse me in that chair” https://t.co/ir7hoVqAFQ
— jane (@ghoulandboys) March 25, 2024
Darcy Jimenez
Wednesday
Grazie Sophia Christie
The character: Grazie Sophia Christie, age gap relationship expert, writer of "The Case for Marrying an Older Man"
The plot: Hey, did you know that you can date older men, and that sometimes it's the antidote to a woman's suffering? That's the thesis behind Sophia Christie's Cut article, "The Case for Marrying an Older Man." All of its nearly 3,700 words are devoted to the author and her special, wait for it, 10-year age gap relationship.
congrats once again to the editorial team at the cut lol https://t.co/WvOsLQaNPr
— Brandy Jensen (@BrandyLJensen) March 27, 2024
The repercussion: The premise behind this article is preposterous once you keep finding out more details behind this woman's life. It's just a patently absurd thing to publish, and no one takes this seriously at all. The guy is 30? Not even old! This has to be parody, right?
every fifth sentence in this is utterly baffling but kudos to the editors at The Cut for finding completely un-self aware women who feel the deep need to write about themselves https://t.co/FA6q6r1Gq3
— Sophia Benoit (@1followernodad) March 27, 2024
Duuuude you should have been there last night was a The Cut essay
— Keara Sullivan (@superkeara) March 28, 2024
I don't think the author even understands how much she has dehumanized and erased herself in a desperate bid for external validation from a man. she literally turned her body into a bargaining chip and DESPITE GOING TO HARVARD, seems to have no sense of her own value outside… https://t.co/K8zuV9q2bU
— Heidi N. Moore (@moorehn) March 27, 2024
Help! My Young Wife's Head Is So, So Small!!! pic.twitter.com/UftD1pPbdF
— Rebecca Alter (@ralter) March 27, 2024
it's sooo funny to write a whole article about how hot and young and young and HOT you are and then the article is published and this is the lead image pic.twitter.com/xYufcvmd99
— lana schwartz (@_lanabelle) March 27, 2024
personally I related to that piece in The Cut today but then I also have a penchant for dating older men. Sometimes they are even 31
— caitie delaney (@caitiedelaney) March 27, 2024
the funniest thing about the age gap essay is that the guy is 30!!! what does a 30 yr old man have to teach literally anyone?? this guys frontal lobe has barely formed. sad
— amil (@amil) March 27, 2024
Lizzy,
— Ash Dylan (@AshDylanLit) March 27, 2024
You probably read that age gap romance article. For what it’s worth, I don’t see you as someone who is 8 years younger. I see you as poor.
Smooches,
Darcy pic.twitter.com/psRuU8krLX
i love that she’s also treating a 10 year age gap between 27 and 37 as some impressive lifehack and not most of our app dating settings https://t.co/rjGDeaCI6M
— ashley ray🍦ice cream money out 3/1 (@theashleyray) March 27, 2024
would you rather have an age gap discourse daughter or a college campus culture wars son
— g a b y (@gabydvj) March 27, 2024
Let me know when The Cut publishes “The Case for Marrying an Older Man Whose First Wife Is Locked in the Attic”
— V. Joshua Adams (@vjoshuaadams) March 28, 2024
this commenter on the cut is a woman among women pic.twitter.com/Dl0XIESqLZ
— Kelcie Pegher (@klcpegher) March 27, 2024
Jared Russo
Read the previous edition of our One Main Character column, featuring a movie director's unpopular take on politics, a musician taking on streaming services with another app, some truly abysmal AI-generated music and a guy who thinks habitual DoorDash users should be ashamed of themselves.