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A Police Department's Laughable E-Fit Image, And More Of This Week's 'One Main Character'

Darcy Jimenez
Darcy Jimenez
A Police Department's Laughable E-Fit Image, And More Of This Week's 'One Main Character'
Dave & Buster's wants to get into gambling. What could go wrong?
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Every day, somebody says or does something that earns them the scorn of the internet. Here at Digg, as part of our mission to curate what the internet is talking about right now, we rounded up the main characters on X from this past week and held them accountable for their actions.



This week, we've got Dave & Buster's getting into gambling, a journalist with a hot take on the election, Jerry Seinfeld's tired opinion on comedy and a police e-fit that's unlikely to yield any suspects.


Tuesday

Aaron Rupar

The character: Aaron Rupar, political commentator, guy who likes being yelled at

The plot: As the upcoming US presidential election inches closer, people's actions — particularly political commentators — get weirder. Aaron Rupar, now an independent journalist, hasn't hidden his affiliations online, and is often seen as a voice championing the left, and Biden, quite overtly.

In one of his latest jabs, Rupar complained that he was going to get "yelled at by 'leftists' for speaking bold truths, like 'if you don't like Trump, you should vote for Biden.'"

"This apparently makes people mad and causes them to lash out," he wrote. "But someone has to do it."

Quite a big task for an independent journalist to undertake.


The repercussion: Rupar is no stranger to random and not-so-random netizens unloading on him in the comments, and many people have become immune to his schtick by now. This comment brought back the good old days, though, and people weren't afraid to call Rupar out for being such an obvious hack.


Adwait Patil


Monday

Jerry Seinfeld

The character: Jerry Seinfeld, creator of the Pop-Tart movie, wounded culture warrior

The plot: Seinfeld, now in his 70s, is coming out with a new Pop-Tarts film, and that means press tours. In a recent New Yorker interview (which Variety shared), after being asked about the "serious aspects of the world" that weighed on him, Seinfeld said "the extreme left and P.C. crap, and people worrying so much about offending other people" is hurting TV comedy.

"The audience polices us," he added.


The repercussion: After having gotten an estimated $14 million budget to make a Pop-Tarts movie for Netflix, many fans were wondering why the super popular comedian would even bother wading into the cancel culture discourse. Others, meanwhile, weren't so kind.


Adwait Patil


Tuesday

Dave & Buster's

The character: Dave & Buster's, arcade-themed restaurant chain, home of sin

The plot: Not content to overcharge for mediocre burgers and lackluster arcade games, good ol' D&B is getting ready to dip its toes into gambling. Under the new plan, adults will be allowed to bet against each other while they play arcade games. Presumably, this will include the company taking a cut, but those details aren't public just yet.


The repercussion: Setting aside the moral arguments against this decision, the chain's plan is not exceptionally well thought out. If the idea is that people are wagering small stakes on arcade games, cash or Venmo seem like the smart option for normies who aren't deep into the D&B ecosystem.


Grant Brunner



Monday

Kent Police

The character: Kent Police's e-fit artist, natural born talent

The plot: This week, the X account for UK's Kent Police shared an computer-generated e-fit image based on a description of a burglary suspect.


The repercussion: The resulting portrait looks like no single human on earth — but he does, as several users have pointed out, bear a strong resemblance to a Mii from Nintendo Wii — and people wasted no time poking fun at the police department's subpar artistry.


Darcy Jimenez



Read the previous edition of our One Main Character column, which featured an unfortunate UK-US translation, a horribly unfunny joke about Taylor Swift fans, a bad take from a Columbia professor and president Biden fluffing his lines.

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