The following relationship "advice" is purely satirical and meant for entertainment purposes only — please do not cite us in divorce court.

Each week, we'll be rounding up the internet's most interesting relationship questions and chiming right in. From nightmare first dates to exploring new fetishes, we're leaving no corner of the internet unexplored.

Currently Two-Months Pregnant And My Husband Just Called His Ex-Wife His Soulmate... Then She Sent Us A Letter

Myself (34F) and my husband (34M) have been together for four years, and married for one. This is my first marriage, but my husband was married before in his early twenties. My husband made sure to tell me about that when we started dating, and I never took any issue with it. As of this post, I am two months pregnant.

Recently, we stayed up late chatting after dinner about when we were younger, and the topic of his ex wife came up. He asked if I minded hearing about her, to which I said I did not - I acknowledged it was a part of his past and I didn't begrudge him for actions before we'd even met. From there however, he began telling me that he still felt his ex wife (35F) was his soulmate. Hearing stories from the past about his ex didn't upset me, but to hear something that was obviously rooted in the present day was hard to hear. Particularly because I very much considered him my soulmate. I told him how I felt, and he responded with "But you said you didn't mind hearing these things". To me it felt like he'd missed the point of what I said, but the conversation fizzled out and we went to bed not long after.

In the following days, I told some of my friends about what he'd said. They were all shocked, and told me that they wouldn't be comfortable if their partners said the same about their exes. They also commented on how he had been the one to initiate a conversation about his ex. However, my mom took a different approach and said "That doesn't mean he isn't in love with you". I've never seen my husband's ex as competition, but to hear that there are clearly some very strong feelings still in the mix from his perspective makes me feel a little weird.

Last week, a letter came to our door addressed to "Mr and Mrs (our surname)". It was from my husband's ex wife, congratulating us on my pregnancy and promising to be there if we need anything. I found this really odd since I've never met her. I knew my husband got our current house shortly after his divorce, so assumed she probably knew where we lived, but that hadn't bothered me until now. He sent a thank you letter back on behalf of us both, and I'm currently unaware if they have any regular contact.

Should I be worried about this? I just don't know how to feel, and everyone in my real life has differing opinions. Maybe this warrants a bigger conversation. Thanks all.

TLDR: My husband told me his ex wife is still his soulmate, and she sent a letter to our home. Is this something I need to be worrying about?

To offer some male perspective, I feel like a lot of dudes unfortunately view the women in their lives as therapists. Which is fine, occasionally, but a therapist is meant to handle this drama, not you, especially when you're a few months pregnant. Listen, I'm sure he told you because it's been weighing on him and maybe he thought, "oh, if I tell her I will feel better," and that's the thing, he was being selfish. He took a risk at your expense, and it really backfired. Also, fudge that lady; like hell, she's here to help you both out! Go talk to your man, tell him to be more careful with his words, but not in a way where he's going to shut off. This really stinks, but unfortunately, a lot of men are never taught how to express their emotions properly, and then this happens. But your feelings are valid too. Make sure he knows to prioritize your mental health as well, that you're not just this vacuum that can take on every burden he's put on himself like a magic genie. Read the rest of the thread here.

A Barista Just Tipped Herself Without Asking, WTF?

Today I stopped by a major Midwest branded coffee shop located near my workplace. The barista asked me if I wanted a receipt. I said no, but noticed that as soon as I said it she pressed one of the two middle buttons on the card reader. So after the transaction I said I would actually like to have a receipt. As I walked away I did the math and noticed that she gave herself a 10% tip. Mindful that the total order was less than $10 I decided to let it go...

But now I'm bothered by it. I decided to write to the brand's customer service and complained, with a picture of the receipt. After sending, I got to thinking about the barista and first how rude, dishonest...but also probably underpaid. I'm conflicted.

Edit: For those saying I should have selected a tip, finished a transaction, or tipped anyway: the POS is situated behind the counter. There no screen facing the customer. Yes, I could see the card reader, but the screen faces the employee. There's no a digital tip option offered to the customers side, but there's a tip jar on the counter. The standard practice is to cash tip at this location. I don't believe that her tip selection was was an accident.

So what if this one's not a romantic relationship. It's still a weird one. I'm sorry, but I'm with the comments; this is stealing and credit card fraud. Too many people are out here actually working hard for these people behind a counter to sneak the tip button on us without warning. Read the rest of the thread here.

Husband Had A Cancer Scare, He's Fine — But Now I Want To Leave

My husband doesn’t have cancer. He did have a lump that turned out to be a benign tumor.

The doctor told us that it was lucky. If it had been cancerous, he would’ve likely ended up bedridden and needing my care. However, it still could turn out cancerous in the end.

My husband thanked me for sticking by his side while going through this and it makes me sick with guilt because I don’t want to stay.

A few years ago, I had ovarian cancer. Instead of supporting me, I found out he was cheating on me. He cried and begged for forgiveness.

I HONESTLY thought that I could get over it. I thought that we would get over it stronger than the other side. There’s a joke where I’m from that men always have second families. Cheating husbands are very common and their wives stay with them. My mom stayed with my cheating dad and even took in my half sibling.

He’s been a great husband since. But I’m looking at taking care of someone who couldn’t take care of me. Who cheated on me instead of helping me. My mom had to help wipe my ass because I couldn’t do it. And he was out cheating.

I can’t, I can’t do it. I can and have done it for someone I love but I can’t do it for him.

I feel like an awful person and I don’t know why this is the trigger. Why do I feel betrayed now? Why do I want to leave when he potentially is the most vulnerable? And what do I do when I don’t want to stay with him when he potentially could be sick?

I'm with the comments on this one. He literally left you at your lowest. Nope, you have every right to be triggered. For him to ask you to do what he refused to do for you... make it make sense, universe. Have a serious talk about moving on without each other. I'm sorry, but the phrase is "in sickness and in health," not "whenever I feel like it." You deserve better, and you're not his nurse. Read the rest of the thread here.

The following post contains mentioning of SA. For readers inside the United States, the National SA Hotline is available 24/7 at 1-800-656-4673.

My Girlfriend Can't Look At My Junk Without Vomiting

My girlfriend gets nauseous and feels disgusted at the sight of my penis. I've ensured good (immaculate) hygiene and have experience, so I doubt it's a hygiene or performance issue. However, she hasn't had any prior sexual experience. What could this reaction mean for us?

Extra info: I thought it might be trauma response, but she swears she hasn't had any relevant trauma? She has been SA'd in the past and had trauma regarding intimacy but it was about kissing and with time we've gotten past it. What prompted me to post this is that when I sent her a dp she said she couldn't finish the video and actually vomited, and that's not usually the response I get.

I'm not sure if this makes any sense, it feels like a place where a therapist might be necessary but we live in a third world country and it's very Taboo to discuss these topics even with a licensed professional.

Edit:

so to answer some questions, we are both in our mid 20's, I am cut, my dick isn't disgusting, she has shown interest and things aren't unsolicited. She cannot control how she feels, she wants to change.

Also for clarification: she's not opposed to us going to second base and making out and feeling eachother. Not even to touching it. It's seeing it that gives her a strong reaction.

Further clarification: DP I meant (Dick pic) as in a video of me showing her what my penis looks like. (This is because I just found a thread about double pent..???)

I love this girl and I just want us both to be happy, I am not asexual so a relationship without us being able to be comfortable together wouldn't work out for me. I am asking to see if anyone has had similar experience and how they moved forward.

TL;DR: Girlfriend feels nauseous and disgusted at the sight of my penis despite good hygiene and experience, but she hasn't had prior sexual encounters. It might be trauma-related, even though she denies relevant trauma. Seeking therapy is challenging due to cultural taboo. She's okay with intimacy but reacts strongly to seeing my penis. Looking for advice on how to proceed.

This story contains mentions of SA, so please be aware that reading onwards will contain references to it. To address this situation, I think if counseling isn't an option, then try your best to become a very safe space for her. When it comes to sexual trauma, unfortunately, this can come and go in waves and what might be nothing to you can be a real trigger for her. In your second post, you mention that she was assaulted in her past and has told you it doesn't bother her. While this can be true in the moment she tells you, I think you still need to be extra-attentive to her needs. Readers, please know it's never too late to speak up and get your peace, people will believe you. Read the rest of the thread here.

Check out last week's edition here.

[Image credit: Deon Black]